Little One Page 5
The slightly bashful look shoots straight through to my heart. This is why I need longer with him. There’s so many things I’m learning, like how he likes to cook for people or how he doesn’t mind watching crappy chick flicks. How he wouldn’t let me go last night as we slept and what he sounds like when he comes.
I want to learn more.
V sits beside me and passes over the silverware. He waits until I pour the syrup and begin eating before tucking in himself. He’s such a crazy mix of gentleman and rough, sexy man. His wife must have been mad to leave him.
“V, are you divorced?” The question spills out of me before I can hold it back. I don’t even know why it’s important. “I mean, you just made it sound as though…”
He pauses, knife in hand. “Yes, we’re divorced. She filed a few years after she left.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“Your curious, I get that. Don’t feel bad for asking questions. But, trust me, there’s nothing interesting about me. And sometimes being in ignorance is better.”
Does he say that because he thinks I won’t like what I’ll learn about him, or perhaps he’s referring to my brother’s activities? “I’m not sure I like that I was in the dark about my brother.”
“Danny wanted to protect you. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep your little sister safe.”
I eye the perfectly fluffy pancake and feel my hunger begin to vanish. “But my life…it’s funded by…whatever he does. I mean, I always knew he was not exactly an honest businessman, but I never realized he was like this. I mean, he’s like mafia or something, isn’t he?”
“Not mafia, no.”
“But he deals in stuff he shouldn’t? Stuff that makes people want to kill him?”
“Little One…”
“I want to know, V. It’s not fair. If someone is trying to hurt me to get to Danny I deserve to know everything.”
He draws in a breath and I hear him exhale slowly. “It’s really up to Danny to tell you.”
“Well, Danny isn’t here, is here?” I lay down my fork. “Tell me, V. I want to know it all.”
He rubs a hand over his face and twists on the chair to face me. “Fine, you want to know? You really want to know how dark and dirty our world is? Because don’t forget, Gray, I’m part of that world too. If you don’t like what you find out, then tough shit. You’re stuck with me regardless.”
“I’m not scared.” Though my heart pounds rebelliously in my ears.
“Danny started off stealing cars. He was good. Very good. Could bring in the most expensive cars around. He worked his way up. The garage you were at when it all happened, that used to belong to a guy called Marcus Whittal. Marcus got gunned down one day, ended up in hospital. He asked Danny to take care of things. But Marcus never made it out of hospital.”
“He died?”
“Yeah, and I don’t think it was from his wounds.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Someone made sure he never recovered.”
My mouth drops open and I close it. How could I not have realized how deep Danny was in?
“All this happened when you were little. It was just you and him and you had no money. Danny wanted to make sure you never had to resort to stealing cars. You probably don’t remember much of it.”
I nod. There’s a fifteen-year age gap between us. I’d been three when our mother died but Danny was eighteen and gained custody of me. I have vague memories of a small apartment which Danny swiftly moved us out of a few years later. And a couple of years after that, we moved again into an even bigger house. Danny said work was good but would never talk about it. I knew there was something off about all the expensive cars and then everyone began to say he was part of the mob. I never believed them but Danny was scary enough to keep everyone away from me. That meant there was something wrong going on. I guess I just never wanted to think about it too hard.
“If people are trying to kill us, it means he’s powerful, right?”
V nods and continues, “After cars, he worked his way up to guns. A few other things on the side too.”
I drop my head in my hands. “Guns? Oh Danny.”
He pats my head awkwardly. “You wanted to know.”
I lift my chin and nod. “I did. I asked for it. But, God, V…how many people have died because of Danny? Because of me?”
“It’s not your fault, Gray.”
“You said Danny wanted to make sure I had everything and I have. I’ve got a great education, a lovely house, everything I could ever want…” Well, apart from one thing.
V, of course.
“You’re not responsible for Danny’s decisions.”
“You must think I’m really stupid?”
“No. Danny did what he could to protect you.” He picks up my fork, places it in my hand and motions to the pancakes. “You’re not responsible for someone else’s decisions. Sometimes you’ve just got to accept that. Now eat up before it gets cold.”
I finish the pancake and bacon but my mind is still a whirl. I’ve finally gotten the courage to ask all about Danny and I can’t seem to let it go. For the past few days, I’ve hardly been able to think straight. Stupidly, I never thought to feel scared. I guess V has that effect on me.
“Should I be scared?”
He shakes his head as he clears away the plates. I jump up to help but he motions me back down. “Danny will have this sorted and there’s no way I’ll let anything happen to you.” He dumps the plates in the sink and eyes me. “Little One, nothing will happen to you, I swear. They’d have to kill me first.”
I nod. There must be something wrong with me because I never felt scared to begin with, at least not once we got back to V’s apartment. Just being in his company is enough to make me forget everything that’s happening in the world.
He leans on the counter, forcing me to lift my chin and look at him. “Your brother made decisions so you could have a good life. He’s done things he regrets—hell, haven’t we all?—but it was so you could do better than him. Don’t let it all be for nothing.”
“Even if I’ve gained when others have lost?”
“You’re a good girl, Little One. Don’t be tainted by the world. Take what you’ve been given and use it for good. Don’t sink into the world we have.”
I tilt my head and eye him. “Do you ever want out?”
“Every day,” he says, turning away to load the dishwasher. “Every damned day.”
Chapter Seven
Valentine
Gray has been quiet all day. She curled up with a book on the sofa and remained there. I couldn’t stand it so I went outside and chopped logs. Not that I needed to. It’s too warm for the log burner but I can’t bear to see her. The light from her gaze has vanished as reality has hit. I was wondering how long it would take. Chances are she was in shock at first, being shot at and learning about the true nature of her brother’s business. Not to mention witnessing Finn’s shooting. I should have talked about it sooner. Forced her to come to terms with it all. Then maybe last night wouldn’t have happened. She would have understood why nothing could happen between us. It’s not just the age difference or her being Danny’s sister. It’s that I’m so deep in that rotten world that I don’t know which way is up sometimes. She and I don’t mix.
I eye the pile of logs and begin carrying them over to the storage hut next to the house. Sweat drips down my face and makes my shirt stick to my back. I can see her through the windows from here, still curled up but not really reading. This should never have happened. She shouldn’t be stuck inside, hidden away from the world on a day like today. I hate that she’s involved in all of this. I get why but I hate it. If I was Danny I would have done the same. Hell, I still would. I’d do anything for Gray, even if it meant living this dirty, dangerous life for the rest of my days—as long as it didn’t touch her.
I finish up with the logs and go inside. The sun glints off the lake, warming the cool, gray-blue color of it. “Gray?”r />
She looks up from her book as though she had been engrossed but I can see she’s barely read any of it.
“Why don’t we go down to the lakeside?”
Both brows lift. “You mean I’m allowed outside?”
“You’ll be safe with me.”
She rises and eyes the view out of the windows then offers me a smile that shoots straight into my heart. “That would be nice.”
Damn her. Damn her for being so fucking easy to please. I swear to God, despite everything Danny has given her, she’s somehow come away the sweetest, most unspoiled girl. She’s the kind of girl you could take on a picnic or lie under the stars with. She doesn’t give a shit about five star restaurants or designer clothes.
That’s what I fucking adore about her. Despite all she’s got, she’s still a simple girl at heart. What I wouldn’t give to be able to give her those things. Stars and fucking picnics.
I smirk at myself as I lead her outside, checking the area as I go. Picnics. If anyone knew I was considering picnics, they’d laugh. Valentine Caruso sitting on a checkered blanket, pulling strawberries out of a basket. Yeah, no one who knows me would take a bet on me doing that but for Gray I would. I’d do anything. Give up this shitty life and lie under the stars and do picnics for the rest of my life.
Not that it would be a hardship. There’s only so long someone can live this life before it catches up with them. Finn was unlucky, especially being so young, but guys my age in this business…well there’s not many of us. Before long, the bad luck will catch me too.
But what the fuck else would I do? It’s all I’ve known for a long time.
I take Gray’s hand to guide her over some rocks and down to the sandy ridge that lines the lake. A glance left and right tells me we’re utterly alone. That’s why Danny chose this place. No one comes here. The water’s too cold and there’s not enough sand for anyone’s liking.
Gray doesn’t care, though. She’s already slipped off her sandals and is dipping her toes in the water.
“God, that’s cold.”
“Would be with the mountains nearby. The run-off keeps it cold.”
“Try it with me.”
I put up a hand. “I’m not the wading type.”
“Sure you are. Everyone is. Come on, V.”
I can’t resist. That sunny smile and those tanned bare feet beckon me. I step out of my shoes, take off my socks and shake my head at myself as I come to her side. The water bites at my feet but I take her offered hand. If I let myself, I could forget we were here because someone is trying to kill her. As we stare out at the mountains, I could almost pretend this is a cozy weekend away. I’ve never done one before but it wouldn’t be hard to imagine this is what you do. Holding my girlfriend’s hand, staring at the view, getting all cold so we can go back inside and warm up in the shower together.
I grit my teeth. Neither of us have mentioned last night and I don’t intend to. But fucking hell, it was the hottest moment of my life. Nothing will ever compare to spilling my load all over her hot, pink pussy. I have to force my mind back onto the freezing water to stop myself from getting an erection.
She releases my hand and lifts her skirt to go deeper into the water. I can’t help but stare at those long legs and imagine them wrapped around my hips while I drive into her. Gray is utterly clueless. Her smile is so wide and innocent and her movements are carefree. She’s got no fucking clue I’m perving over her and imagining what it would be like to fill that cunt of hers.
She screams. I might as well have been dunked into the lake. All thoughts of her pussy vanish. I race forward, ignoring the depth of the water and scanning my gaze from side to side. There’s no shooters, no glints of light from sniper rifles. I lift her into my arm, turning so I’m shielding her.
“What happened? Where are you hit?” She’s so light only the knee-deep water slows me down. Once I’m out of it, I’m racing up over the rocks and toward the house. I keep low, clutching her close. Her fingers dig into my neck.
“V, no…it’s…”
I peer down at her and my heart hammers in my chest. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.
“My foot,” she says. “It’s my foot. On a stone.” Her lips quiver.
“You’re not shot?”
She lets out a feeble laugh. “No! I stepped on a sharp stone, I think.”
The air releases from my lungs. I straighten and sit her on the steps. “Which foot?”
She lifts her left one and I grimace. It’s no gunshot but there’s a deep cut in the pad of her heel. I press my sleeve to it to stem the bleeding for a moment and she winces. Damn it. For fuck’s sakes. I can’t even keep her safe when she’s meant to be enjoying herself.
Scooping her up once more, I take her through the house into her bedroom. She fits so fucking perfectly in my arms. Gray loops her hands around my neck and tucks her head against me. My heart pounds in response, some age-old, primal protective instinct burgeoning inside of me. This is more than a job, but then I’ve known that for a while, haven’t I? I prop the pillows up and set her down. A spot of blood on the pristine white sheets reminds me that I failed to keep her from getting hurt.
“I’ll just get the first aid kit.”
I rush back from the bathroom and set to work on her foot. If this was another guy, I’d stitch it but I don’t want to put her through that pain. Thankfully there are butterfly stitches in the pack—along with a ton of other stuff for more serious wounds. Danny was seriously prepared. I clean up the wound and she doesn’t even whimper even though it’s got to hurt. I offer her what I hope is sympathetic smile as I finish cleaning it up, put the stitches across and press a pad across it.
“There. We’ll have to change the dressing in the morning but it should be ok.”
She nods. “Thank you. You’re a good nurse.” She giggles.
“A fucking lousy bodyguard though.”
She grabs my arm and forces me to sit on the bed. “Are you going to drain the lake so I won’t be able to hurt myself on any more stones?”
“I should have—”
“Nothing. There was nothing you should have done. You can’t keep me safe all the time and I wouldn’t want you to. I have to live sometimes, you know.”
“I know,” I mutter.
“Do you?” Gray tilts her head. “You’ve looked after me for a long time, V.”
I lift my head and meet her gaze.
“Don’t look so surprised. I know you’re like my secret guardian angel. Like when those boys were pulling my hair every day in fifth grade. You were the one that scared them off, weren’t you? And when I lost my teddy when I was eleven. You found him.”
“I was doing my job.”
“I thought your job was to help my brother.”
“Protecting you helps him.”
She rubs her hand up my arm and brings it to rest on my face. I close my eyes for a moment and treasure the touch of her soft hand.
“You’re like my guardian angel, V. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But sometimes I need to be free to do my own thing.”
Free from me is what she means. I know it, in my heart. Of course I do. Gray would be better off far away from this life.
“Sometimes I need to be free to make my own decisions too.”
“I won’t stop you from doing anything, Gray,” I tell her. “Just let me keep you safe for a little while longer and you can do whatever you want. You can run far away from me.”
“What if I don’t want to run far away from you?”
“You should.” My voice is gruff as she sidles closer, her arms slowly looping around my neck. I’m a strong guy but I can feel myself weakening with every breath. How the fuck does she do this to me?
“Like I said, you’re my guardian angel, V. Why would I want to go anywhere without you?” Her breath tickles my ear and a shudder wracks me.
“Fuck.” I twist and pull her onto my lap. Her legs straddle me and my cock responds instantly, pre
ssing up against the warmth I can feel through my wet jeans. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I take her mouth hard. I thrust my tongue in her mouth with no apologies. She has to know. She has to understand. This is who I am. I’m no gentleman who will take her slowly and give her time. I’m a rough, hard man who wants her so badly I can hardly think straight.
It doesn’t work, though. She kisses me back, making little whimpery noises and rocking against me. I press my hands up under her dress and feel the warmth of her body and the smoothness of her skin. I rub my palm over each little notch of her spine before moving one hand up to grip the back of her neck and hold her to me.
I kiss her until I‘m lost. Kiss her until I forget the age gap, her innocence, that I’m meant to be protecting her. It’s just me and her and it’s so fucking right, it’s insane. When I finally pull back, she’s breathless and her cheeks are flushed.
“I know,” she says, climbing off me. “You won’t take me.”
I don’t say anything. She knows why I can’t.
“You know, V. You’re so intent on denying yourself pleasure that you don’t realize you’re hurting the people around you too.”
She limps out of the room, leaving me staring at the empty spot in the doorway where she vanished. Am I hurting her? Of course I fucking am. No woman wants to be rejected. I push a hand through my hair. But what else can I do? I can’t take the fucking virgin sister of my boss. I just can’t.
Chapter Eight
Gray
I stare at the ceiling and frown. Dark shapes come into focus and I struggle for a moment to get my bearings. What woke me up? I stretch and turn onto my side. My heel throbs a little but it’s not bad enough to bother me. I freeze. A sound that has my heart pounding against my ribs echoes through the safe house.
I sit and listen intently. There it is again. Some kind of agonized moan. It’s V. But why is he making that noise? Are we in trouble? My mouth grows dry as I put one foot, then the other, to the floor and ease up off the bed. The mattress creaks and I wince.